Monday, 21 May 2012

Career Plans

It may seem to you that I don't actually ever work, and that particular accusation would in fact be completely and utterly correct. I work on average 10 hours a week (and even complain about that), and am therefore P O O R. However, I have a plan to make some extra cash mo-ney.
Well... begging. It'd have to be begging being as I don't have any talent in the entertainment sector.
What I'm about to say may not be politically, morally, or in any other way okay, but here's the thing: the thing is that beggars here are shit at looking poor. They don't pretend well at all. They really just don't. A lot of them are wearing better quality footwear than me. I mean, at least attempt to look poor, would you?! If I spy gold jewellery on you, beggar, then quite frankly I am not convinced. If you are smoking, again, you obviously need to throw away that sign that says 'j'ai faim' and spend your fag funds on a baguette or two (they cost 39c after all, come on now).
Just now, on the metro, a 'homeless man'
(didn't fool me- he looked as though he was going to get off the metro and go home to his comfortable home in the 7eme) was walking up and down the carriage asking for a 'petit piece.' NO!! I barely have enough for myself you cheeky little scrounger. A boy carrying a bottle of champagne (I was in a posh arrondissement and I think he felt kinda humbled to share the wealth) took pity on said 'homeless man', and took out his wallet. The 'homeless man' saw that it was an Adidas wallet, and after taking the proffered spare change, 'homeless man' enquired of 'Champagne boy' where the nearest Adidas shop is... SERIOUSLY?? I just can't.
So really, the point I'm trying to make here is that I'd make a way more convincing beggar than half of these people. I would dress the part- wear holey shoes, put twigs in my hair and shit.
My friend, G.B., told me that something like 10% of Parisians really do beg as a second income, because it can double your wage (these are not official figures...) So I mean, when in Rome (or Paris, as the case may be)...
Anyway, this decision has not been finalised, so keep tuned for any developments.


I feel like I should also point out that I am aware that there are real homeless people about, and that sometimes they have no other options than to beg, but this post is purely aimed at all the FAKES. Ruining it for the real deal, aren'tcha, you little twats?

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