Saturday, 30 June 2012

Long Hair, Don't Care

Girls (and possibly boys- I'm never one to discriminate!), I’m about to share with you my biggest beauty secret...
Once I reveal it you’ll be thanking me for the rest of your little lives.
It’s something that I hear so many of my friends moaning about: wanting, needing, not-seeing-the-point-in-continuing-life-without MERMAID HAIR.

And you see, I am in a position to give you advice on this matter. I have hair. And it’s very long.
It’s belly button length, and it's the funnest thing I own. So much joy comes from shaking it around, flicking it backwards and forwards, and dangling it over the sides of buildings Rapunzel-style. I really, truly, honestly, believe that there's a direct correlation between the amount of laffs you can have in life and the amount of hair on your head.
So mes petites choux, are you ready to hear how I’ve achieved it?
Seriously though, because you can't un-read this information once you've seen it.

Here it is: Just Don’t Cut It. Ever.

It seems so simple, because it is. If you don't want short hair, then don't cut bits of it off...
People who feed you that bullshit about having regular trims to encourage it to grow are LYING. My hair’s long as fuck, so I’m the one you should be listening to!
True, if you look closely my ends are as frayed as an old carpet, but you gotta take the highs with the lows, guys. Length over health.
One of my bezzie M’s comes from a family of hairdressers, and when she reads this she’s probably going to kill you for listening to me, but that's just because she wants you to go and spend money at her establishment.

I'm always slightly jealous when I see all these smug French girls with their healthy blunt ends, but what it comes down to is this: can they wear their hair as a bra?
Didn't think so. 
Just follow my example, and you too could look like this!
All natural. I know it's hard to believe. Also modelling my most beautiful Gypsy Boy Fringe to date...
Just like spun gold.

So girls, the moral of the story is: wear your split ends with pride! Aint no shame!

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